The Truth About Shrek

An Introduction

Shrek is not the friendly ogre you think he is. The Shrek you know, is not the Shrek he is. Shrek is not actually an ogre. Shrek is actually a intergalactic parasite consuming all of the precious and sacred banana bread in the world. This website details the truth of Shrek and his endeavours, and persuades you to think otherwise. Save the banana bread, before it's too late.

Shrek 1

Shrek 1 is where the story starts where you have the fun loving Shrek, but we know by now who he is. This movie portrays him as a protagonist, a savior of fiona, but, my friend, it is truly the opposite. Lord Farquaad is portrayed as an evil villian, or thats what Big Shrek wants you to think. He is actually a defender of what is just in this world, banana bread. The reason Fiona was locked up was that Fiona holds one of the 6 sacred banana stones. Shrek wants her dead, and so infects here with his parasite, turning her into an ogre. Shrek now has one of the stones. If Shrek has all 6 banana stones, he can control the world by force.

Lord Farquaad is seen here holding a glass. In that glass is banana bread, showing evidence that the Lord is actually a protector of the bananaverse.

Shrek 2

Shrek 2 is a example of Shrek's parasitical power. Shrek has full and urestricted control of Fiona. Under his rule, they set out to locate and assasinate Prince charming, who holds the second banana stone, which has the power to create bananas on will. Shrek is gaining more power, and is even more terrifying than before. Though this, the Big Shrek continues portraying shrek as a fun loving ogre, and a valiant hero. But we know the truth.

Need evidence that prince charming is not the man really portrayed by Big Shrek? Look no further. His hair's gravitational curve matches that of a banana, which is a tell-tale sign of bananical power.

Shrek the Third

Shrek 3 is where Shrek, under bloodlust after the killing of Prince Charming, decides to murder his father, the king. There is an ulterior motive. The king knows all of the locations of the banana stones, exept 1. Shrek mercilessly plows through his kingdom, killing anything in sight. The king had nothing to do. Shrek effortlessly beheaded the king, and now knows most of the locations of the stone. When will Shrek stop? When will he be satisfied? Shrek, Shrek is never satisfied. he is a parasite that will wipeout all of mankind.

After Shrek assasinated the king, inside his captured castle we see a scroll, which is actually a map of the last remaining banana stones.

Shrek Forever After

Shrek Forever after tells the tragic tale of Rupmelstiltskin, our valiant knight. Rupmelstiltskin is the last of the banana knights, an old organization dedicated to protecting the bananastones. Rupmelstiltskin uses all of the power he can, and nearly destroys Shrek, sending him into the bast. But alas, Shrek is already too powerful. With bananastones, Shrek can't be stopped. Rupmelstiltskin fought valiantly, and will be forever grieved. We will not forget Rupmelstiltskin, the last banana knight. Rupmelstiltskin was our last hope, our last chance to stop Shrek. Now, all we can do, is wait for the invetiavble. We have lost. There is nothing left.

Our valiant knight, Rupmelstiltskin. In the background of this picture you could see many scrolls. Most of these scrolls belong to the banana knights, a organization with roots throughout history.

Shrek the Halls

All we see in shrek the halls is Shrek enjoying his new powers. He has all the bananastones, and so can force the bananaverse to his will. Before Shrek decides to enslave all of mankind, he takes a break with his mind controlled "friends". there is no more oppositon left, so what's the rush. It is sickening for Big Shrek to actually do this, portraying Shrek as "lighthearted" and "kind". But we know the truth. Big Shrek realeased this as morale was dwindling, and Big Shrek needed propaganda to display.

Scared Shrekless

Scared Shrekless is the final chapter of Shrek. Done playing, Shrek decides he is to enslave humanity. Shrek rapidly topples the leadership of first world countries. Armies couldn't stop him. The world is in anarchy. Shrek puts his mind-controlled friends in control of the different quadrants of the earth. People in rebellion get crushed instantly. Under cruel authoritarian leadership, humanity is enslaved to Shrek. Shrek, as his work is done on earth, travelsththrough the universe imposing his ideals upon every living creature. The universe is now the Shrekverse.

The last known picture of Shrek admiring his handiwork, the enslavement of mankind. Right after this, Shrek leaves the planet.


By now, you should be able to see the truth. You are welcome. This information did not come easy. Many people sacrificed their bananas for this. Just remember:

  1. Shrek is a parasite bent on controlling all of mankind
  2. Shrek cares for no one, not even himself
  3. His "friends" are innocent people infected with Shreks parasite
  4. Shrek wont stop until he enslaves and kills all of bananakind
  5. Shrek has won. We are just waiting for death.